Let's face it, if you're riding a Greyhound bus, you shouldn't be expecting much. The low-fare transportation line has a deservedly maligned reputation for long, horrendous rides stocked with fugitives and the hygienically challenged. That being said, every once in a while, a headline pops up about a Greyhound mishap that's so disturbing it makes you pretty sure that buying a bus ticket would be akin to performing your own appendectomy with a spork - it's an absolute last resort.
This list takes a look at some of the worst (known) things that have happened on Greyhound buses. From predictable toilet snafus to outright public executions, if you're traveling on a budget, Greyhound has you covered. These cautionary coach bus tales will make you think that next time a $27 fare to Topeka seems like too good of a deal to pass up, there's always the infinitely better option of hitchhiking near a halfway house for registered sex offenders. Let's take a look at some of the scariest Greyhound bus stories ever told.
Awful Greyhound Bus Tales That Will Make You Want To Walk Instead,
The Time A Driver Fell Asleep At The Wheel
When you're traveling by plane, you expect the pilot to be focused, sober, and generally unencumbered. When you've chanced your life on a Greyhound ticket, however, you're really just hoping the driver can stay awake. Well, some folks in San Jose didn't even get that luxury while aboard America's favorite discount travel service.
In January of 2014, 58-year-old Gary Bonslater fell asleep behind the wheel of the Greyhound bus he was charged with operating. The passengers, mostly asleep at the time, awoke to the horrifying experience of their bus tumbling on Highway 101. Two people died, and six others were injured in a grisly scene where the smoking, mangled bus had tossed its passengers onto the wet concrete, where some were found laying face down and unconscious.
The Fed Up Driver Who Locked Passengers Inside The Bus And Went Home
It goes without saying that Greyhound's clientele can skew toward the undesirable and disruptive, so in that sense, some drivers deserve sainthood for their patience in the face of a PCP freak-out or an inventive use of the toilet. It's hard to blame a driver for just straight-up walking off the bus to exit a dicey passenger situation, but at the same time, that really sucks if you're a bus rider just trying to survive the experience.
"Guess what? I'm going home," that's what one aggrieved driver announced to her passengers in November of 2011, as she pulled the bus over halfway between Memphis, TN and St. Louis, MO. Apparently, the driver had removed an unruly guest from the bus, and some of the other passengers objected to it - for some unimaginable reason - so she just left.
Being stranded in the middle of nowhere on a Greyhound is a pretty grim situation, but this disgruntled driver kicked it up a notch by locking everyone inside. It would be eight hours before help arrived - 1/3 of a day, stuck on a hot, stale, odorous bus.
The Time A Speed Freak Got Erupted On By The Toilet
In the mid-1980s in Florida (where else?), one rider got a foul, if deserved surprise, when he went to use the facilities on a Greyhound bus. The passenger, who by one account had been acting extremely belligerent - scowling at people, mumbling to himself, pacing the aisle - and just generally giving people the creeps in what was likely a drug-addled state, had locked himself in the toilet. While this speed freak was perched on his throne, the driver (possibly intentionally) hit a massive pothole, which sent everyone on-board askew, but it was exceptionally bad for this guy: he came out of the bathroom covered in feces, urine, and that weird blue solution they put in porta potties. Suffice it to say, it's doubtful he had to utter the words "Seat's taken," for the remainder of the trip.
The Time A Bus Stopped Outside A Penitentiary And Picked Up Some Chatty Ex-Cons
Remember the movie Con Air? That one where Nic Cage, Dave Chappelle, and a posse of fellow convicts takeover a plane during a prisoner transfer? Good, now imagine an extremely low-budget version of that scene taking place on body-odor-laden, pothole-hitting Greyhound bus. Except with nice ex-convicts whose worst features aren't that they want to commandeer the bus, but actually that they just won't stop talking and haven't recently showered. One rider, who valiantly sat next to a group of ex-convicts that had literally just been released from prison (the but stopped at a penitentiary on its way from Tallahassee, FL to Orlando, FL) remembers the convict he was seated next to:
"did not stop talking...for 4-5 hours....I even put my headphones in and he continued to talk to me...the whole time...non-stop. I wanted to cut my own ears off by the end. Not only that, most of the ex-cons had not showered before leaving, so the BO was UNBEARABLE."
Wouldn't you rather just walk?
The Time Roaches Poured From The Vents And Invaded The Cabin
In what can only be described as something out of a horror movie, passengers on a Greyhound bus en route from Atlantic City to New York got a taste of a living, breathing nightmare in March of 2013. While the folks on board the bus were just trying to do endure a bus ride from the sad, seaside casino town - an experience that by itself is pretty bad - they were shocked and horrified when a cockroach infestation took over the cabin.
Passengers reported roaches pouring out of the air vents and dropping from the ceiling, crawling across their bodies, nestling into their hair, and scurrying into their belongings. When you think Greyhound stowaway, you think serial-killer-on-the-run, but this is an almost unfathomably worse option.
The Time A Deranged Passenger Attempted To Drive The Bus And Flipped It
In January of 2014, an emboldened Greyhound passenger decided to take a democratic approach to operating the bus. 25-year-old Maquel Donyel Morris began hallucinating about 50 miles outside of Phoenix en route to Los Angeles, and his spirited vision told him he needed to take over the vehicle. Morris attacked the driver, but some fed up passengers came to the driver's aide, preventing the bus from heading into oncoming traffic.
For his efforts, however, Morris still got the bus to plow into a dirt median, flipping it over in the process. 26 passengers were carted off by ambulance, which is still a more desirable ride than a Greyhound.
That Time Frozen Bull Semen Fell Out Of The Cargo Hold
When you check your luggage on a Greyhound bus, you have to assume its cohabitants in the cargo hold are stowing some form of contraband for your fellow riders: drugs, some kind of illegal porn, maybe a human head, etc. That's all well and good (and terrifying), but Greyhound does cargo transportation for non-riders, as well, and sometimes that freight is even more bizarre.
Take for example, in the summer of 2011, when passengers on a bus outside of Nashville began experiencing a strange odor coming from below. Their vessel, it would turn out, had been carrying giant cannisters of frozen bull semen, which had leaked prior to falling out of the bus completely and terrifying other motorists on the road. Luckily everyone survived - including the precious load.
That One Time One Passenger Sawed Off Another Passenger's Head
Sitting amidst a crowd of degenerates in a stale, vaguely urine-scented cabin is one thing, but nobody signs up to have their head sawed off by a deranged maniac when they buy a bus ticket. Unfortunately, for 22-year-old Tim McLean, that's exactly what he got while aboard a Greyhound just outside of Winnipeg in the summer of 2008.
McLean's fellow passenger, Vince Li, straight-up snapped during the journey and began repeatedly stabbing the sleeping man in the neck. The bus stopped, and other passengers fled, while Li began working on McLean's body, sawing his head clean off before pocketing his nose and ears.
As the escaped passengers looked in from outside the bus, they saw the terrifying scene of Li pacing up and down the aisle, holding McLean's head like the Headless Horseman holds a jack-o-lantern. Authorities eventually arrived and apprehended the man, who was off his Schizophrenia meds.