Some people just shouldn't have children, and others treat having a child like most pre-teens do getting a new guitar. It's cool at first, but before you know it, it winds up in the garbage. We're half way through the year and like previous years, this list is, sadly, way too easy to make. From the totally outrageous to the shocking and appalling, here are the absolute worst parents of 2011 (so far).
The 13 Absolute Worst Parents of 2011 (First Half),
Mother Throws Newborn Into Snowbank
21-year-old Ashley Renee Couch was a brand new mom when she apparently decided she'd had enough.
According to reports, the Minneapolis mom was arrested after allegeldy throwing her newborn baby into a snowbank during a fight with her significant other. Cause that'll show 'im.
"This is why we can't have nice things!"
The 18-day-old baby girl suffered hypothermia (it was 16 degrees outside at the time), but thankfully, she survived. She's in foster care, and Couch was charged with child endangerment and neglect.
Mom Buys Boob Job for 7-Year-old Daughter
What do you get the 7-year-old who has absolutely everything?
Well, British mom Sarah Burge decided to give her darling daughter, Poppy, that is, yes, 7 years in age, a voucher for a breast augmentation surgery. Burge herself, the mother, known as the "Human Barbie," gave her Baby Barbie a voucher for breast augmentation for her birthday recently, which seems a little odd. But you know what? Don't worry. She can't cash it in until she's 16.
You can't let a 7 year old get a boob job! It's inhumane. I mean, think of how hard finger painting would become.
Was the little girl upset that she didn't get the usual birthday presents a 7-year-old would get? No. Not at all. In fact, she was thrilled, telling the 'Daily Mail,' "I wanted a new computer, a holiday and a voucher for surgery. When I got it all, it was a dream come true. I can’t wait to be like Mummy with big boobs."
FYI: Sarah Burge admits that her 15-year-old stepdaughter has already had Botox injections.
We can start the betting pool on how soon both daughters' self esteem will peak right abouuuut now.
Mom Sells Daughter's Virginity for $10,000
What do you do when you're down on your luck and you need to get rid of a few items in order to make your bills? Rationally, you sell your DVDs first, then you move on to other valuable things that you like, but don't need like, you know, old sewing machines, your 13-year-old daughter's virginity and maybe some old blouses, but who really pays reasonable buy-back sums for blouses nowadays?
According to police, Felicia Rea McClure (who you might remember from such news stories as "Mother Knows Worst" and "The Mommy Madame") tried to sell her 13-year-old daughter's virginity. Yes, prosecutors say Felicia sent multiple text messages to a potential buyer, asking him to pay $10,000 to have sex with her young daughter.
She's also accused of sending sexually explicit photos of the teen in an effort to shop her around, which makes sense if you've ever used eBay.
Felicia was finally busted by a boyfriend who saw the texts and realized what was going on. She's looking at the very real possibility of spending the rest of her life behind bars if she's convicted of sex abuse and exploitation of a minor.
The best part about the embedded news report is that every single time they refer to the buyer they refer to him as a "gentleman".
Pregnant Mother Smokes a Pack a Day to Make Baby 'Stronger'
What won't kill you makes you stronger. This is the only logical explanation for why this person actually thinks this.
Smoking cigarettes is bad for babies. Period. But, tell that to 20-year-old Charlie Wilcox of Kent, England. This mom smoked between 15-20 cigarettes every single day while pregnant with her daughter, Lilly.
Really? In this economy?
Charlie told the BBC that she believed injecting the dangerous levels of carbon monoxide (from the smoke) into her bloodstream, her baby would get stronger, because her heart would be forced to work harder, "on its own."
Not surprisingly, little Lilly was born prematurely and she had a low birth weight. But hey, on the upside, maybe she won't have to have plastic surgery later on in life?
Mom Kills Daughter for Tossing Game Console
In March of 2011, Japanese mom Yui Tanaka was arrested in connection with the death of her three-year-old daughter, Shizuku Tanaka. According to reports, the toddler was bound and stuffed into a garbage bag, where she later suffocated. Why, you ask? Her mother was quoted as saying that little Shizuku threw away the family's gaming console. And those things cost a lot of money!
And not only that, the mom was also upset that her daughter was "fussy and noisy" when she and her boyfriend were trying to play games, which brings up an important social point: just because you're playing a stealth game where your slightest move/noise can set off an alarm that'll call hundreds of your enemies, people can still talk around you. The characters can't hear you.
Some reports claim that Yui didn't mean to kill the child. I mean, who doesn't bind their baby with duct tape and throw them into a garbage bag when they're being loud? It's like the tiny drops of whiskey so they can sleep or rocking them back and forth: some things are just timeless parenting staples.
Mother Kills Baby, Then Takes Him Shopping
Toyrianna Smith is one screwed up, sick mom who probably played with way too many of those creepy "real looking" baby dolls when she was little.
Police in Chicago claim that Smith killed her three-month-old son and then "took the dead infant shopping with her." Yes, you read that right. First the killing, THEN the shopping. Someone really needs to learn to plan their Saturdays a little better.
Authorities believe that Smith murdered little Ken Blackman Jr. when he wouldn't stop crying, by holding him down with a blanket over his tiny face. Then, she went to sleep, like a baby. Only she woke up the next day and, according to reports, got up, dressed her dead baby, got him into his BabyBjorn(TM) and brought him along on an hours-long shopping excursion.
Police finally got involved when a neighbor noticed the blood on the baby blanket- along with the fact that the baby wasn't breathing.
Toyrianna Smith, by the way, confessed. Really not too much more you can do at that point.
Mother Kills Her Two Children for Talking Back to Her
This is extremely depressing, because how many times did you get some guff from your parents for talking back?
What could they possibly have been arguing about that led to this? The worst part is that the mother probably threatened them, but they never really got that she wasn't kidding.
The woman bought a gun and bullets about a week before and one day after school, she shot her young son in the head. She then walked up to her daughter's room while she was doing homework on her computer and shot her once in the head, once in the face.
She was going to then kill herself, but couldn't go through with it since, you know, murdering two bright, young innocent, intelligent children in cold blood really takes it out of you. She showed no remorse when police showed up, but was shaking yet calm during her arrest.
Why did this happen? Because they talked back to her. The only reason. This gives me reason to believe that this quote from a wiseman from the 1990s is true because sometimes, guys, "parents just don't understand". Truer words have never been rapped.
Mother Kills Toddler Son During Exorcism
Indiana mother Latisha Lawson was accused of killing her two-year-old son, Jezaih, during a botched and totally misguided exorcism. Hasn't she ever seen the movies? Things like this should be left to professionals and Christian scam-artists.
According to reports, Latisha mistakenly believed her children were possessed by demons, Frailty style.
Reports say the mom forced her 10-year-old daughter, Kierra, and little Jezaih to drink a mixture of oil and vinegar, believing it could cast out evil spirits in their bodies. The 10-year-old threw up the mixture but three-year-old Jezaih didn't - in fact, Lawson admitted to authorities that she forced the toddler to drink the mixture and held his mouth closed "for about 10 minutes... until he stopped breathing."
Which calls to question this woman's innocence, unless, of course, it takes her 8 minutes to swallow a single sip of beverages. In that case what she did is perfectly understandable.
When her son was dead, Lawson apparently prayed over his motionless body, wrapped him in a blanket and kept him in a closet "for almost a year." Because a closet is where you keep dead bodies fresh. This is disgusting. Why? Because I won't even leave day-old Chinese food in the living room, let alone a dead body in a closet.
Mother Passes Out Drunk at a Bar with Child in Her Lap
Sometimes, you just have to sleep.
37-year-old Florida mother Kira Logsdon-Mitchell wanted to go out partying. The problem? She had three young children at home. What to do, what to do? Load up the kids and take them to the bar, of course! A woman has to have her priorities.
According to authorities, Kira took her four-year-old son with her when she hit up Frank's Place bar in Ocoee, Florida. She left the other two children, ages 7 and 9, back at home since bringing them to a bar would be irresponsible.
But obviously, you can't take a child into a bar, right? So what did Kira do? According to reports, Kira left her son in her car while she went inside and got trashed. But Kira missed her baby - so she eventually brought him in with her. A bartender called the cops, who later found a stinking drunk, passed out Kira curled up in the bar with her child.
Hey, at least she didn't drive him.
Mother Burns Child's Face with an Iron for Reading a Book Wrong
Meet Hope Askew. Yes, this is her real name and yes, it is slightly ironic.
When this Texas mother decided her young daughter was reading a book incorrectly, she felt hopeless. Her daughter was just not getting it. So, like any sane mother looking to dole out a fitting punishment for such a heinous crime as getting a few words wrong during a child's learning process she picked up the iron she was using on the laundry and pressed it to the 10-year-old's face. Twice. Probably for symmetry.
Obviously, tragically, the little girl was left with horrific burns. Investigators say Askew was mad because her daughter "wasn't reading the words correctly in the book."
And that's not all. Not only did she seriously injure the little girl, she also didn't treat the injuries. The kid went to school, burns and all, telling a school nurse that she'd accidentally connected with a hot skillet, which is when people started getting suspicious since the nurse felt bad for the girl. This mother deserves not only a few years in jail, but to have her child taken away from her if nothing but for the fact that she made it so that her unfortunate daughter can never wear a horizontally-striped longsleeve sweater again.