Despite what we’re told by film and television, criminals are rarely masterminds. On the whole, felons and repeat offenders tend to be kind of dumb. Go through most local news sites and you’ll find this theory to be proved correct. The dumbest criminals in 2015 are some of the dumbest ever. There must be something in the water that all of these dummies are drinking, because it seems the offenders have gotten stupider since last year. Even though the dumb criminals on this list are from disparate geographical regions ranging from Switzerland to Florida, they have one thing in common – they’re incredibly stupid. Check out this list of the worst criminals of the year and try not to repeat their mistakes.
If there’s a running theme to the stupid criminals in 2015 it’s probably “shenanigans.” Most of them seem to think they’re pulling off a brilliant heist, but all they’re really doing is exposing themselves (sometimes in more ways than one) for the dummies they are. As funny as these stories are, it’s good to remember that these are still crimes and that they should be taken seriously, even the one where an old man pours a bowl of pee on a teenager. If while you’re reading this list of the dumbest criminals of 2015 and you discover that you’re related to one of these dummies, we hope you didn’t inherit any of their cognitive abilities.
Vote up the criminals you think were the dumbest jailbirds of 2015, and feel free to point us towards any news stories in your area featuring stupid criminals.
http://www.ranker.com/list/dumbest-criminals-of-2015/jacob-shelton, crime, criminals, other, 2015, True crime, true stories, mockery,
Man Shoots Himself in the Foot to See How It Feels
It probably hurt. A lot. A 30 year old man from Colorado shot himself in the foot because he was curious as to if it would hurt. He shot himself once without his boot, and again while wearing the boot. Looks like he's going to need a new pair of boots.
Man Runs Fake DUI Checkpoint While Drunk
This genius in Somerset PA, got drunk in June and decided to pretend to be a state trooper while running his own DWI checkpoint. That is, until the real state troopers showed up.
Man Arrested for Refusing to Leave Jail, Trying to Steal Truck Full of Prison Food
After being arrested for possession of meth, an Arizona man named David Spurlock was released after serving a little time, but wasn't ready to go home. After being forcibly taken away from the prison, he tried to steal a food truck full of vegetarian prison meals and was immediately arrested on burglary charges.
Drunk Man Makes Son His Designated Driver
A man from upstate New York got so wasted that he made his 10-year-old son drive him home. Police say officers pulled over the truck and found that the boy was behind the wheel while his father was drunk in the passenger seat.
Florida Man Slashes a Woman's Tires After She Steals His Bingo Chair
You don't mess with Fred Smith's bingo chair, especially when he's hot! Despite this knowledge, 88-year-old Ethel Britt sat in Smith's favorite seat at a bingo hall in Lake Wales, FL. Smith did the only thing he could do and slashed the tires on her van with an ice pick.
Woman Arrested for Counterfeiting Claimed Obama Made it Legal
Pamela Down was arrested in Tennessee for trying to pass off counterfeit bills at a gas station. When the police caught up to her and found a counterfeit Benjamin and a receipt for a printer from Walmart, she cracked and said that she'd read an article where President Obama said that he wanted people to print their own money. Unfortunately she was referring to a satirical online article and not an actual request from the President. Thanks, Obama.
Man Calls 911 to Get His Air Conditioner Fixed
In Indiana, a 27-year-old guy called 911 and complained that he was having trouble breathing. But when paramedics arrived they found that he was fine, but that his air conditioning was on the fritz. He was was charged with obstructing emergency services and disorderly conduct.
20-Year-Old Bro Takes Selfie with Arresting Officer
After being arrested for operating while under the influence (in this case marijuana), Gilbert Phelps took an opportunity to snap a selfie with his arresting officer. Weirdly enough, this story ends with everything working out fine and not Phelps being Tased until he tasted colors.
Teen Steals Bondage Gear
If you're trying to set up your own dungeon, you should probably purchase the actual items. Tayler Aughtman tried to run out of a Spencer's Gifts with a Fantasy Bed Stretcher, but she was already being watched after stealing $48 worth of underwear from Victoria's Secret, so you could say that she finally got tied up.
Alaskan Woman Steals Patrol Car Holding Her Husband
Amber Watford was arrested on suspicion of vehicle theft and a few other charges after she managed to steal the car that was holding her husband, who was in custody for a DUI. Love is super weird.